


Unfair

by PapaNoLivesMatter



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Genre: Alex is lost, Clay is a brutal top, Clay needs to keep moving, F/M, Ghosts, Hannah doesn't want to let go, Haunting, M/M, Psychic Abilities, Voyeurism, the casting was a little bad, unwanted burdens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:11:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PapaNoLivesMatter/pseuds/PapaNoLivesMatter
Summary: A ghostly Hannah Baker considers her un-death and what it means when the only one that can understand her refuses to and instead attempts his damnedest to forget she exists.





	Unfair

**Author's Note:**

> Wow look at that, I actually posted again! Sorry for the long absence life has been very busy for the past year but with some free time coming up I am looking to post a lot more and start developing my own writings more including the launch of a patreon that will be coming out soon™ as well as a blog where they will open to the public and other such things. In the mean time this was mostly inspired because my bby doll Clay is finally an aggressive man which I think would work excellently with the tweaks to the writing you can make because, let's be honest, the show's writing is already kind of corny and unrealistic. Also if you have any thoughts feel free to comment them down below or shoot me dm's with other fic ideas that you want me to right. Any comments, kudos, or general babble are appreciated. Also, also, because we are a community and my socials are steeped in many layers of anonymity anyways, feel free to add me on snapchat @gingersnapz0102 if you want to talk or give me clout. This was also kind of rushed out but I have more time to give other ideas better focus in the future.

If she were thinking things clearly, as clearly as a disembodied soul could, she would know she was being unfair. Yet Hannah Baker was not of a clear mind as she watched Clay Jensen sit across from Alex Standall, a hand resting on the other’s knee as they made idle conversation about nothing that somehow put a grin on both their faces. It was selfish for her to watch with indignation as Clay made a lean forward in the context of examining the other’s cane which was rapidly becoming useless following proper therapy. It was idiotic to assume that the slow inkling of their lips brushing together before deepening into a feverish mashing of tongue and teeth wouldn’t take priority over someone who wasn’t technically real anymore. It was down right cruel to watch it all as Clay slid his hand up the other’s shirt slowly and explored the expanse of virgin skin. She did it all of course, because where else did she have to go?

Slowly, like the pieces of her that reformed after letting go for what felt like it should have been the last time in her bathtub months ago, Clay leaned into Alex. They were careful of course, Alex’s brush with the other side, as useless as Hannah’s attempt at a long term stay, had still left his body weak. She pondered briefly who was actually in control here. One one hand Clay held a physical edge as their kisses deepened and he slowly lifted the other’s shirt to toss it aside and explore the new expanses of pale creamy skin with lips and tongue and teeth. Alex of course was not nearly so coy as he wanted to lead on and he let loose subtle movements as he let his fingers wind around Clay’s head to find a home in his brown hair where a subtle weight would be pushed there. Hannah of course knew of Clay’s particular versatility as this was hardly the first time she had seen such a dance be performed and it would undoubtedly be the last. Yet, she couldn’t help but consider her own influence on it all.

Clay refused to acknowledge her after the first few days. He had babbled out an explanation that he was sorry, that he wished he could help her, that he could help all of them and that if he could, he would, but that he couldn’t. Hannah had...well to call it a rage would be to put it lightly. She had screamed with lungs that didn’t need air and that in itself lended a certain freedom of the lungs and an influx of insomnia for poor Clay. It was not one of her better moments and of course neither was this as she attempted to make eye contact with the one person that could actually see her.

Clay had undone the button of Alex’ jeans by the, lowering them ever so slowly as he kissed a nipped a trail down the other’s hips and pelvis down deeper to the faint sprouts of darker hair on the other’s pelvis. Clay was a master of this sort of thing, the longing that could make a person lose control. It had worked on Sheri some weeks prior and Jeff not less than a week before. Hell, it had worked on Hannah as she waited for just some sign that she was still there to him, that she wasn’t faded into that nothingness that haunted the edges of her consciousness. She could leave if she wanted to, turn away from Clay licking slowly up the length of Alex’ throbbing cock and lapping playfully at the tip which had begun a steady trickle of precum. But she didn’t want to and that was more or less the crux of this new weightlessness that engulfed her. How would it be to be one of them on the bed? To feel every pulse of their heart as adrenaline and arousal rose in equal measure. Would she enjoy it this time? This only other act of coitus that was actually of her own choosing? Clay seemed to be every part the nurturing lover as he coaxed Alex into returning the favor from earlier, slowing directing the slighter boy’s hand to the shocking length that practically burst from Clay’s jeans.

Would she mind the briskness with which Clay grabbed the fairer boy by the back of the head and directed him to his length? Would Hannah Baker, the girl that had once believed, despite all improbable odds that she could escape problems that at the time seemed impossible odds, brave the thick head like Alex did and attempt, with gagging suffocating gurgles to swallow Clay down. Perhaps once she saw the serene expression spread across Clay’s features, the relief of a fire taken to water and the great steam of arousel sliding through tense muscles that finally slipped free of tension. Would Clay’s harsh grip on her jaw, like the one that wrapped tersely on Alex’ own irritated her and drive her away or would it convince her to take even more of his rapidly quickening thrusts. For the un-life of her Hannah did not know but she knew it mattered little to Alex, indeed the harsh treatment made his chest flash red and hot his eyes hooded as he took every inch given to him and coughed slight amounts of phlegm. Perhaps in this way Alex could live up to someone’s expectations, free of the pressure of being the boyfriend of Jessica Davis when anyone with eyes could see that’s not where he belonged.

No, that was here, beneath Clay who had flipped the boy bodily over, careful enough to avoid the weak legs and removing the tangled jeans, socks, and underwear in one swift move before climbing back on the bed behind him. Confusion at first on the face of the farrier boy, was now the time it would happen? Weren’t you supposed to use lube for this, be gentle and prepare or was this an extension of the will previous the crassness and force that would hurt in a way so oddly satisfying. Yet those fears were put to rest when Clay spread Alex cheeks with a handful of it and made the first gentle lap at the expense of his entrance. The action let loose a series of fluttering moans, surprise rippling through limbs that didn’t quite feel all the way. Some sensations were saved luckily, the important ones that had him arching his back as a skilled tongue unwound him lap after lap. These were Clay’s rules it seemed. The endless game of giving and giving, if one could get what they wanted the other would as well. How strange and alien it must be, as the first gentle stab past Alex’ ring of muscle has had and his own private taste being known to at least one person in the world.

Its intimacy on the greatest scale Hannah thinks as she closes the gaps between her and the boys without moving limbs that shimmer and fitter like water. She’s getting better at it, and she's not sure if that’s a good thing or bad. Regardless it saves time, time she has to watch the eyes in Alex’s head to roll backwards and clarify to cast a confused look over his shoulder. She followed the stare and saw Clay, still with his mouth just hovering over pale moons that bore the harsh mark of his grip staring back at her. Yet only for an instant before he brought his hand down upon Alex’s ass once more causing the boy to yelp before he was dragged bodily back to the taller boy.

He had seen her or at least acknowledged her for just the faintest of moments. She was still here to Clay, even as he tore through his bedside drawer for lube and condoms while he, without even looking, worked his spit slick fingers into Alex’s hole. The other leaned forward into the bed with a grown, a misplaced pillow finding its place between his arms as the sensation washed over him. Hannah didn’t lose tempo, she stood before Alex who could not see her, daring Clay to look her in the eyes. He didn’t aside from a quick glance upward. He was busy spreading a condom across his cock, slathering it with lubricant until it passed easily through his fist and set the tip against the other boy’s now slick entrance. He had seen her and he would see her again. 

With ethereal fingers she reached out to touch him, to shake him to force his head upward and to stare back into her eyes. They passed through him entirely raising only slight hairs against Clay’s flesh as he slid entirely into Alex who let lose a loud moan that was sure to be heard clear through the house. Clay’s parents never seemed to be truly home even when they were. Perhaps that where their son inherited his ability to deflect Hannah. Slowly now Clay unsheathed from the other boy embracing the tightness that clung to his member and the heat that seemed ready to engulf him. He paused with only a few inches inside Alex to look up at the other boy who gave a nod that sent a bead of sweat down his neck. Give and take, give and take, and all the while Hannah reached through them both with flailing useless limbs screaming with lungs that never quite managed to make words when she needed it the most. Panic was her enemy, these chaotic thoughts that split her from like fog and made it all the easier for Clay to send hammering thrust after thrust into Alex who bit the pillow and screwed his eyes shut. Yet despite it all he seemed to be embracing every moment of it. His toes curled despite their general lack of feeling the awkward half arrangement reminding Hannah faintly of the cramps she used to get. 

Clay meanwhile upped his pace as Hannah’s screams reached a form that even she could hear. Faster and faster he worked his hips, sending enough force to jolt Alex forward ever so slightly as the boy’s erection ground against the crumpled sheets. It's a game of erosion she with her screams that don’t require air with a form that disparates through the boy as Clay shuts her out with each forceful thrust. Alex had stopped making sense a while ago something between the unexpectedly forceful strokes reaching deep inside him in such a way that his eyes rolled back. Yet he held on, arced into Clay with a layer of sweat shimmering on their skin as thrust after thrust connected and Clay let go of the room and the person beneath him, let go of the dead woman drifting around him and of the past that told him acknowledging such things were horrible he even let go of the fragile dome that kept the anger pent up inside and let the force claim him and in that moment of blissful freedom he came spilling deep inside Alex who had lost and came all over himself and Clay’s bed some time ago. It would be quite the mess to clean up but in that moment Clay sighed sated, the sounds of Hannah’s apparition now far away and he settled next to the other boy, tossing the used condom into the trash and pulling the covers over them both.

He seemed utterly at peace like that despite the sweat on his brow and the heat that cooled between the two of them. So far removed from the world in the afterglow that even Hannah could stop her assault if only for a moment. No, it wasn’t fair. Not to her who drifted in the fringes of what was and wasn’t, not for Clay who was roused from his afterglow by Alex curling into his side and laying a gentle, thankful kiss against the other boy’s collar bone, not even for Alex who yearned for comfort that had to be worked around like pulling teeth. Gentleness now, begrudgingly given after Alex let the other boy use his body like a living fleshlight. Intimately like that, with sleep just around the corner and an embrace joining their naked and still sweat and semen slick bodies one would almost think Clay didn’t have a myriad of other options after Alex failed to deliver that same buzz. Give and take, take and give. If one could have what they wanted then the other would as well. She’d find what Clay Jensen really wanted, aside from ethereal silence and she would take what he had to give in return.


End file.
